A rant about weddings

It's time to rant about something that's been pissing me off for quite a while. I read this article in the SMH, about how feminism has taken a step back when it comes to modern weddings. As someone who's getting married in the next eight or nine months (no specific date yet), it's a topic that's quite relevant and one that's been on my mind for some time.

The article is written by a woman whose daughter is getting married and wants everything perfectly traditional, from the virginal white dress to being given away by the father. The author herself can't understand it- if women have spent decades fighting for equality, why throw it all away on this day?

While I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a step backwards in feminism, I will say I consider most of it unnecessary packaging. And it's all very clever marketing by the bridal industry.

Tossing out phrases like 'your dream wedding come true' and 'a perfect wedding for a perfect bride', they lure you into thinking that a $300 dress will make you look like a hag while a $3000 dress will make you into a princess. And oh no, what if you don't hire a photographer that charges through the nose to capture that perfect photo of the perfect couple at that perfect moment so you have proof that it ever happened? And why do you even want to look like a princess anyway?

If you tell a restaurant/caterer that you're planning a wedding reception, expect to pay extra per guest for mentioning the 'W' word. Apparently anything that comes with that word attached has the right to have the price jacked up.

Even churches are cashing in on this desire to have a traditional wedding. After making enquiries, I was shocked to discover you pay upwards of a thousand bucks for the privilege of getting married 'in God's house' with an organ, minister and bell ringer at your service (double the price on Sundays, but that's understandable). Yes, I understand the church has to pay liability insurance, you need to pay people for their time, you need to help pay for the upkeep of the church etc. etc. but a thousand dollars? And that's just the cheapest.

But of course, there's no money to be made in telling people not to buy the most expensive dress available. Or that they don't need a 2-hour photo shoot plus photos of all the preparations, the reception, a video, an album...

I'm not going to comment on what happens in the ceremony because I genuinely believe that's personal choice. If you want to be given away by your father, that's great. If you want to have eight bridesmaids and eight groomsmen, good luck finding dresses and suits everyone's happy with.

Here's my view of weddings: If you're a religious person, regardless of religion, your wedding is a formal/legally recognised declaration and celebration of your union and commitment before your God, family and friends. You're also stating to everyone that your God is a vital part of your life and will continue to be a vital part of your marriage. If you're not a religious person, omit the parts about God.

It is not imperative to get married in a church, to have flower girls and photographers, to have a white cake covered in sugary flowers, to go hysterical because you couldn't get the perfect shade of ribbon to match your groom's tie. And it's not imperative to spend $50,000 on your 'dream day'.

Far be it for me to say I don't like weddings. They're aesthetically pleasing and I appreciate the effort and planning that go into them. They're also usually quite fun- you get to hang out with people and eat. But a wedding is only one day, a celebration of something that will hopefully last (pleasantly) the rest of your life.

I was looking up reception venues, potential churches and wedding dresses online and getting really depressed. Why was everything so... maudlin? I have never dreamed about my wedding day, with clear blue skies, me in a flowing white dress and a floating veil, couldn't tell you where/when/how I would like to get married. The more I browsed, the more I knew what I didn't want. I'm not saying it's wrong to get married in a church with a beautiful dress and lovely blooming flowers, but it's just not me. And some people love organising things and are good at it, and can whip up their wedding with not too much fuss, just the way they've always dreamed of.

Just don't expect me to buy into the consumerism of my 'big day'. No bridesmaids, photographers or expensive dress for me thanks. And please stop telling me that my 'big day' isn't a big day if I don't spend x amount.

World champions!

The Spanish team, receiving the Cup

My Spanish boy, decked in red and yellow

Tearing down the flag to drag into the street

Celebrating at the Fuente de Murrieta (a fountain where people from Logroño traditionally go to celebrate when there's a massive soccer win)

Drinking in the street

Summer activities

Since I have so much free time on my hands now, I'm trying to get my act together and send a package to Australia via seamail, so it arrives more or less when we do. Unfortunately, I hate packing so my days are spent procrastinating.

Here are some things I've done to date:

La Hoguera, las fiestas de San Juan: To celebrate the summer solstice, some friends and I went and burned things near the Plaza de Toros. You have to bring an old item of clothing, a list of ten things you want for the coming year and a list of ten things you want to disappear in the coming year and then you throw them into the massive bonfire. It's a tradition that harks from witch-burning days (in the past they used to burn witches instead of clothes and pieces of paper).

Monasterio de Santa María de Toloño: Last Saturday, a few friends, Beza and I climbed to the top of a small mountain to see the ruins of a monastery built in the 9th Century. My arse was sore the next day from the uphill climb but it was worth it. We had morning tea at the top but it was pretty chilly so we soon came down. There's a well the monks dug that used to serve as a fridge. In Winter it would fill up with snow and they'd bury food in the snow to keep it from going off. Because it's so high up, the snow wouldn't melt until well after Spring.

Muñeca: A friend of ours went to another city to work for a few days and left his dog with us. We had lots of fun together, the dog and I. We went for three walks a day, we went to have morning tea with Beza and we sunbaked and had many a siesta together on the sofa in our patio. When she went home I felt very empty and alone.

Jewellery and yoga classes: I signed up for three-week courses in jewellery making and yoga. I'm into my second week and I'm quite enjoying it. Yesterday in the jewellery class, we made brooches using Chinese knots. Since I'd already learnt Chinese knotting, it was pretty easy for me but the teacher ran around from one student to another screaming 'Undo that knot! No, you knot with the left string, not the right! What have you done? It's so basic- you knot from the left to the right, and now, the right to the left, and now a half knot!' I thought she was going to weep with frustration.

(I told my dad I was doing jewellery classes and he laughed and asked 'Why do you want to be a jury?')

Nephew's birthday party: Beza's nephew turned four and to celebrate, his parents threw together a gathering. I had more fun than expected- it wasn't like a birthday party in Australia, with organised games, a cake and the parents watching their kids with eagle eyes and complimenting each others' brats while secretly thinking 'my child has better developed motor skills than yours.' Basically, there was a table with food, where the adults congregated and the kids were thrown in a pile together and left to their own devices. That's the kind of kiddy party I like.