There was an old lady...

I thought a nice way to teach the kids animals would be to tell the story of the old lady who swallowed a fly. So I drew this A3 sized old lady, made it into an envelope with a hole where the mouth is and drew and cut out all the animals.

It was hysterical- some of the kids got absolutely devastated when the old lady swallowed the horse. They were screaming 'No! No! Poor horse!' I thought one girl was going to start crying.

On a totally different note, I find this joke about hairy Spanish people inexplicably hilarious. A Spanish boy comes home from school crying 'Mummy, mummy, all the kids laugh at me and call me hairy.' The mother shouts 'Cielo santo! The dog just talked to me!'

The kids were describing animals in class today, and one boy said 'Monkeys are hairy.' I thought of this joke and started giggling uncontrollably. I had to excuse myself and get some water, I was laughing so hard. And everyone was looking at me like I'd gone insane.

I continue to be a nasty bitch in class. There's this one girl I detest in 6th grade because she's always talking or whinging or saying 'What? What?' because she wasn't listening the first time. Anyway, I didn't photocopy enough sheets for an activity, so I didn't give her one and after I handed out the sheets, she said 'Where's mine? I didn't get one.' So I said to her 'Tough luck, mate. You don't deserve one, you never concentrate anyway.'

I ended up getting her to go downstairs to photocopy more, but after everyone had started the activity, so she had to sit there for a few minutes twiddling her thumbs. Last time, she had some trinket she wouldn't stop playing with, after she'd been told several times to put it away. So finally the teacher grabbed it and chucked it in the bin. She got so pissed off and screamed 'I'm going to tell my mummy!'

And the teacher shouted back 'So what? Go tell her then! And I'll tell her how you never do as you're told.' Everyone in class burst out laughing and started applauding. It's times like this I have great admiration for this English teacher.