I am a slave to my work

On Monday night, I decided I wanted to tell the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears to the kids at school. But then there was the hassle of making the characters, so I procrastinated until after midnight, and then I thought, 'Oh well, it won't take me too long.'

Four hours later, I was just a little exhausted and grumpy. I drew Goldilocks, the three bears, the three bowls of porridge, the three chairs and the three beds, went over the lines with a thick black texta, coloured them in, cut them out and wrote my script for the story. I was going to draw an empty bowl of porridge and a broken chair but by that time I was like, bugger this.

And the next day I told the story five times. I'd also made a theatre out of a cardboard box, so I stuck blu-tack to the back of the characters, stuck them to pencils and had them prancing around my theatre. Don't know if the kids liked my storytelling skills but I had fun.

Next time I'm just going to google images from the internet.

Free sofa!

Had a great weekend. On Friday night, there was dinner at the flat. I love watching guys cook while I stand there drinking beer or wine. Carlos was halfway through making the salad when he went 'Ostia! There's no vinegar. And the supermarket's closed.' There was a horrified silence until someone bravely said 'That's all right. We don't need it.' (Photo: My hamburger)

Spanish salad dressing consists of vinegar, olive oil and salt. Not having vinegar is like eating a meat pie without tomato sauce. Or a vegemite sandwich without vegemite. Personally, I hardly ever use vinegar so I didn't miss it.

Afterwards we went to Bassanova and drank mojitos, which for some reason were cheaper than beer, which meant we had a few. And finished the night with kebabs.

On Saturday evening, Beza, Andrés and I went to watch one of our friends, Millán, play ice hockey against Pamplona. He plays for the Logroño team. I went ice skating with him a few weeks ago, and he told me they actually weren't very good. But they won, hurray! In the photo, Millán is the second from the left.

It was the first live ice hockey game I've seen. I expected a bit more bashing and blood (there was no blood at all) but they played really well and the third part was great. It made me miss playing team sports in high school.

I'd like to learn how to play but I don't skate well enough. And I get very competitive. The other day, in my gym class, the instructor split us into two teams to play a ball game and I started getting a bit aggressive. And this is against elderly folk (well, people between 35 and 70). I snatched the ball from a gentleman of about 65 years and accidentally bonked him on the head. And I whacked this woman when I tried to keep her from getting the ball. (Photo: Rubén's shirt. He has a collection of insane t-shirts that always crack me up)

Anyway, after the game, had pinchos in Laurel with Beza and met up with the others for more drinking.

Going home at about 5 am, we spotted a sofa one of my neighbours had thrown out. So Rubén helped me carry it up to my room and we took turns sitting on it. It'd been raining so it was a bit wet, but I spent a nice cosy Sunday afternoon armed with my hair dryer, drying it off (and hopefully blasting away germs). It's a kind of mossy/pea green colour, very reminiscent of the '70s, very comfortable and so ugly it's adorable.

Lola has had a facelift

The internet connection in my flat lasted only a day and a half. I (naively) thought it would be there for good, so took a siesta and when I woke up two hours later, it was gone.

Am currently at The Pad (as I've come to call Javi's and Beza's flat), using their free/pirated internet. It seems so unjust that they have internet without even paying for it, while I, after two months, have had perhaps cumulatively 14 days of internet.

Anyway, last week, I discovered my school here in Logroño has a laminating machine. I've gone insane laminating all the crafty things I've made- all in the name of education of course. Lola has had a facelift. In fact, the only original thing that remains is her mouth. I've remade her nose, ears, eyebrows, eyes, even face. I've given her a new haircut and laminated her. I'd laminate my hand if I could. I love that machine.

Had dinner at The Pad with the flatmates. I made a carrot cake because I had an overabundance of carrots in my fridge. They seemed to like it. We'll see tomorrow, ha! (Photo: Carlos and Beza making dinner. Note the broken window pane patched up with cardboard. It's little things like this that make me love this place)

When I finished work today at 1:30 pm, I nearly cheered. Roberto, the teacher I assist with 1st and 2nd graders, had a meeting, so this teacher-in-training at the school took the class for the 1st graders. MAN, SHE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO CONTROL THE STUDENTS. The 1st graders are the easiest of all the grades to control, but under her, they turned into wild beasts.

First, she did an exercise with stickers, and told them to all peel off the stickers they'd need and stick them on the table. As soon as she said that, I thought, this is going to end badly. Stickers stuck to table plus six year olds = nightmare. And indeed, within two minutes, we had twenty kids wailing 'Profe, I can't get the stickers off.' Then she ran around like a mad chook trying to peel a hundred stickers of twenty desks while the kids ran rampant. She finally decided to photocopy the stickers and cut them out by hand and stick them with glue.

While she was doing that, I played a game with the kids, to teach them colours. They loved the game, got fully into it and stopped being monsters. But then she decided it was her class, and tried to restart the exercise but the kids didn't want to, and the kids who hadn't had a go at the game yet got pissed off, and naturally it all ended in nightmare again.

I tried to suggest to her that we leave the exercise and stay with the game, because it doesn't matter what they learn as long as they learn, but she was like 'No! This is the exercise we have to do, so we're doing it.' I shrugged and did what she said but the kids ran around whacking each other, throwing things and crying.

At the end of the class she said to me 'Phew! See how well they behave with Roberto, and with us, they're uncontrolable.'

I was like 'Ha, woman! With you they're uncontrolable because you have not bleeding idea how to run a bleeding class. Don't you try pin the blame on us. They behaved perfectly fine with me.' Of course I didn't say that but it's so incredibly frustrating when you see someone doing something that's so obviously wrong and not being able to do anything about it.

Offal day

It has been a crap day. Just one of those days when everything annoys me and everything aches. I thought I was coming down with a cold, but I had a four hour siesta and felt slightly better.

I had this massive headache that wouldn't go away and being around children made it worse. And there was this monster of a child in 4th grade that I would gladly have throttled. Whenever he wanted the teacher's attention, he would bang on the table, shouting 'Profe! Profe!' and you tell him that is not the way to get attention, that he has to put up his hand like everyone else but as soon as you turn around, he's banging on the table again.

We were watching a video and he started clapping in the middle of it, going 'AUGHGUAHG HAHGHAUGHAUGHA' tunelessly. So I turned to him, glared and said 'Shhhh.' But as soon as I turned away, he started up again. So I turned around, banged my fist on his table and went 'Oi! Be quiet!'.

The little shit just glared at me and when I turned back to the screen, he started banging the table again softly. I ignored him and he got louder and louder. Finally I got really pissed off, whammed his desk and hissed 'Shut up, you fucking moron.' He tried to stare me down but I gave him the biggest greasy and he shut up for the rest of the video.

Honestly. Not even a mother could love it.

Normally I'm so nice to the kids. The problem is he's a remedial child, but for some reason, they put the remedials with the normal children in the English class, though they separate them for the rest of the classes. And I think the English teacher feels sorry for him so she's too lenient. But really, why should I and everyone else have to suffer because he's moronic?

And my flatmate has taken to being passive agressive. Maybe I've got PMS and I'm reading too much into things, but he's really starting to give me the shits. The other day, when I came home, he was cleaning the flat. I started making dinner and he just stood there in the kitchen looking at me. So I tried to make conversation until he suddenly asked 'Are you going to take long?'

'What?' I asked.

'I'm cleaning the flat and I've got the kitchen left to mop. And obviously I can't do it till you're finished.'

'Oh- well, maybe give me five minutes,' I said. And then he said 'No, no, I'm just being a jerk, I'm joking. Take your time.' But then, he just STOOD THERE AND WATCHED ME, SILENTLY, with his arms crossed. In front of the plate cupboard, so I had to ask him to move, and then he shifted to the front of the cutlery draw so I had to ask him to move again, and then in front of the fridge, so I had to ask him to please get his bleeding arse out of the way so I could get my tomato sauce out of the fridge.

He also asked me if he could see the soles of my slippers. So I showed him and he said 'You see all that crap stuck to the bottom of your slippers? Can you please clean it off every day so it doesn't get distributed through the flat?' I was like, MAN, do you have nothing better to do than be so anal retentive? I clean them when they get dirty. But I have to admit, if I swept and mopped the flat twice a day, I would probably get pissed off if someone came through and dirtied the gleaming floors. He's like some frustrated house frau.

And then he makes all these comments which I think are supposed to be funny but aren't. I was sketching in the living room because the light was better and he asked me 'You like drawing don't you? Pity you're not good at it.' And he always says sarcastically 'You're life is so hard isn't it? You party the weekend away and work 12 hour weeks.' This coming from the guy who doesn't work, has two hours of uni a week and has to decide which of the two hours he's going to attend because attending both is just too much hassle. And when Juan Carlos asked if we could turn on the heating because he was cold, he starting mocking him and saying 'You're just like a little kid, crying because you're cold. Whining that your feet are cold, your hands are cold. It's not even Winter yet.' I was like, that is not cool. If he's cold and needs to turn on the heating, who are you to be the heating nazi?

The other day, Alexis came over for lunch and asked him 'So how are things going generally?' and he said 'Good, good, except things with Cath are going through the arse.' I think it was meant to be a joke.

But I was like BLOODY HELL! I'm not even in the flat most of the time, I clean up after myself in the communal living areas, I barely go into the living room because he's always there watching TV and I don't watch much TV anyway, I don't take up two thirds of the fridge and cupboard space like he does, I don't walk around humming tunelessly, I don't make much noise at all.

I think he's a bit disappointed that I'm not as friendly as I could be. He and Juan Carlos usually have lunch and dinner together in front of the TV and I sometimes join them but when I come back from work, and I'm buggered, all I want to do is scoff down some food and have a nap. Or I'll come back briefly and head straight out again. He's always telling me about his flatmate from last year who became great friends with him, who invited him to his place for Christmas, who hung out with him heaps. I tried to invite him out with me and my friends a few times but he doesn't drink and he told me he doesn't like being out after 9 pm, preferring to sit at home in front of the tele. So I've given up inviting him along, but when I come home at 7 am on Sunday morning and he's already up for his morning jog, I swear he looks at me disapprovingly.

One of my friends jokingly said that he probably likes me. I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants.

Four days with Josh

My first visitor has come and gone. Josh was doing some filming in Barcelona for two weeks and decided to pay me a visit when it wrapped up.

He arrived on Saturday, which was Javier's birthday party so we picked him up from the bus station at 3 pm and by 5 pm he was eating and drinking with the rest of us. (Photo: Some of the boys playing poker)

It's been an insane four days. We started eating at 5 pm on Saturday afternoon, didn't stop till 1 am Sunday morning, then headed out to the bars and stayed out till 5 am.

Sunday was a cruisey day, seeing that we didn't get up till (very) late. In the evening, we went for some pinchos. (Photo: Josh and I drinking sorbete de limon)

We also found a fantastic second hand clothing store where I got two jumpers for 3 euros each. I'm a bit dubious about the cleanliness of the clothing, but as long as I don't break out in a rash I'm happy. On Monday, Ruben started his new job and shouted us to some beers and calamari and on Tuesday, we climbed the Logrono mound.

The mound is a hill with vineyards on the slopes and a nice view of the city when you get up the top. However, Josh decided it would be fun to take the unmarked trail back down, which involved slipping down the hill face and ending up at the fence with a five metre drop to the road.

I have to admit it was fun, but I was a bit concerned about how we were going to get out because there was no way we could climb back up. We eventually found a hole in the fence and jumped. Then went and had pinchos for lunch.

There was also a free photo exhibition we went to in the old part of town. Afterwards, we went by Javi's and Beza's flat to say goodbye to the guys and drink kalimotxo because Josh hadn't tried it yet. Beza said (with a note of horror in his voice) "It's only Tuesday, you know." I'm pretty sure Josh had fun. He was going to leave on Tuesday, but decided to stay an extra day. I had a great time, but got up at 5:45 am this morning to walk to the station with him and then had to work at 9 am. Some of the kids today were absolute shits. Have a headache now.

This divine hamburger was my dinner last Thursday night after we went out for 2 euro pints. I've realised hamburgers are featuring quite prominently in my diet here.

P.S. Update on the internet situation- the internet stopped working again for a week, and then my computer also decided to throw in the towel. Since last night I've had connection but I'm going to start taking bets on how long it will last. Gah! Gah!

The Matthew Herbert Big Band

On Tuesday night, Ruben, Galo and I went to San Sebastian for the Matthew Herbert Big Band concert. (Photo: Ruben and Galo, with the San Sebastian skyline behind them.)

I know I said my hot water bottle was the best 10 euros I ever spent, well this was the best 20 euros I ever spent.

It was the kind of music that squeezes the air out of your lungs and makes you feel like you're dissolving.

I noticed that they're heading to Sydney and playing at the Opera House on the 24th January next year, so I'm going to make sure my family and music-appreciative friends who are there GO. (Or I might buy them tickets as Christmas presents if they're nice to me.) No matter how pricey the Opera House is, it's completely worth it.

Afterwards we went for a walk by the sea in the rain and ate bocatas and drank a bottle of cider at a bar. San Sebastian is supposed to be ridiculously over-expensive for food (and everything else) but this place was great.

Long live cheap food!

Dinner, masks and Roman bridges

On Wednesday, I decided to make dinner for my flatmates and a few friends. I invited Beza, Javi and Ruben over. It was fun- we finished off a bottle of wine before we'd even started eating.

I made some masks for the Infant classes, to teach them the names of family members, and got the guys to put them on. There's also a Grandpa and Grandma (not shown). And actually, the 3rd and 4th graders really liked my masks too. I wasn't intending on using them for their classes but they spotted them when I got to class and clamoured to put them on.

My 'teaching' has been going quite well (except for Thursday, when I woke up with a slight hangover and missed a class by accident). Sometimes I feel like a glorified babysitter. I just arrive, amuse them for a few hours while their parents are at work, and leave. The 2nd graders in Logrono are little shits and the 6th graders are rowdy and incorrigible and the 3 year olds still don't really speak, but the rest are great.

On Friday, visited the Frank Gehry-designed bodega in Elciego. Well, looked at it from the outside. You need to pay a hefty fee to go in. Apparently, it's supposed to look like a bunch of grapes, and depending on where you're standing, the colours change. I think they do beauty treatments there as well, all from grapes (probably the waste products from the harvest and wine production- and why not, if people will pay lots of money to have crap slopped on them and be told it will make them look more youthful). There is a stench in the town, of squashed rotten grapes.

Also visited a Roman bridge from the 2nd Century AD. It's amazing that it's still standing, although obviously you can't walk on it. And it's pretty big as well. I find anything over a few hundred years old fascinating because Australia doesn't have anything.

On Saturday night, went over to Javi's and Beza's flat, brought them a gift of toilet paper (because they'd run out for the last week or so and I don't like peeing with no toilet paper), watched TV, ate pizza without cheese (the topping stays on surprisingly well), drank beer and then met up with the rest of the guys who'd been out watching the soccer. Life is sweet.

The fight is over! (Maybe)

This is Avenida de la Paz, the street that leads me home at 6 am every Sunday morning. Although the photo was taken a few weeks ago, when it hadn't started raining yet. I spent a very happy Sunday glued to my laptop, jealously checking every so often to see if my precious wireless signal was still alive and kicking.

I kissed it goodnight and when I woke up on Monday morning, I sprang back to my computer to use it and it was gone.

I nearly wept. But I didn't. I went to the gym instead and ran and hit things.

Still wasn't working this morning, but at about lunchtime, They called Pablo and told them the problem should be fixed and we shouldn't have any more problems. I did notice it's running quite slowly, but maybe the internet breakdown was a deliberate ploy by Orange to make us so happy we've got internet at all that we don't notice how crap it is.

I am (aside from internet debacle) having the time of my life here. I draw things, I write things, I run around and drink and eat with my friends. Javi and Beza have rented a flat with four other guys. It's just for hanging out in rather than sleeping- I don't think it would be very comfortable sleeping there. The building has no lift and is full of hookers, junkies and illegal immigrants probably, and a flat with six guys and lots of beer isn't the cleanest place in the world.

Anyway, on Friday, I went over and Beza, Ruben and I ate chinese takeaway and watched a few crapulous movies. Well, Blue Velvet wasn't crapulous but it was too weird for me and I was sick, so I fell asleep for five minutes and when I woke up, the plotline had gone haywire.

Then last night, Javi and his band were going to practise, so he invited me along but they decided to hang out at the flat instead, playing video games. So I went by with a box of recently made (by me) Anzac bickies and watched them play Street Fighter. It's hilarious how devastated people get by little 2-D characters on screen.

On Sunday night, I went for a walk/jog by the river. It was raining a bit, there were puddles everywhere and around me there were just street lights, darkness and the sound of the river. I have discovered that pure happiness can be found by dancing in the rain (as long as no one sees you).

Armed with fried rice

Last night, Ruben came over and told me 'You know, if you reset the modem, it might work?' So I did, and the internet functions!!! I'm a bit overwhelmed. Skype, voipbuster, emails... All these things I lived without for three weeks. I'm not sure whether to check my email, call my family/friends or do school work first. So I decided the best thing would be to cook a huge (think half a kilo) bowl of fried rice at 6 am in the morning and eat it at my laptop.

School so far as been fantastic. In Cenicero, the fact that I have to get up at 7:15 am is offset by the fact that the teachers there are fantabulous and young and vivacious (and we have lunch/dinner once a week together). Last week was Halloween, so we went through some Halloween vocab in class, such as pumpkin, ghost, vampire and played Bob for Apples and Whack the Witch (my invention, where you blindfold a child and give him a stick so he runs around and tries to whack the other kids- potentially dangerous but very entertaining).

I also went on an excursion with the 5th and 6th graders to Vitoria. We visited the cathedral and the Modern Art Museum. I prefered the museum, if only because it wasn't 1 degree celsius inside, but being with 25 10 and 11 year olds is quite draining and I thought I'd die before arriving home. During lunch time, I played skipping rope games with the girls.

The parents have some privacy issues with their kids being photographed, so I've put up a photo instead of Andres peeing in the women's bathroom. Which is just as amusing, if not so visually attractive. Tonight I went out with Ana, one of the English teachers in Cenicero and my friends. As usual, too much beer and too much kalimotxo but also a lot of fun. It's been practically two years since I played drinking games.

Also, the 1st of November is a public holiday for some saint (or many saints) so the supermarket wasn't open which means I only have 3 kg of apples left in the flat. They were on sale.