Offal day

It has been a crap day. Just one of those days when everything annoys me and everything aches. I thought I was coming down with a cold, but I had a four hour siesta and felt slightly better.

I had this massive headache that wouldn't go away and being around children made it worse. And there was this monster of a child in 4th grade that I would gladly have throttled. Whenever he wanted the teacher's attention, he would bang on the table, shouting 'Profe! Profe!' and you tell him that is not the way to get attention, that he has to put up his hand like everyone else but as soon as you turn around, he's banging on the table again.

We were watching a video and he started clapping in the middle of it, going 'AUGHGUAHG HAHGHAUGHAUGHA' tunelessly. So I turned to him, glared and said 'Shhhh.' But as soon as I turned away, he started up again. So I turned around, banged my fist on his table and went 'Oi! Be quiet!'.

The little shit just glared at me and when I turned back to the screen, he started banging the table again softly. I ignored him and he got louder and louder. Finally I got really pissed off, whammed his desk and hissed 'Shut up, you fucking moron.' He tried to stare me down but I gave him the biggest greasy and he shut up for the rest of the video.

Honestly. Not even a mother could love it.

Normally I'm so nice to the kids. The problem is he's a remedial child, but for some reason, they put the remedials with the normal children in the English class, though they separate them for the rest of the classes. And I think the English teacher feels sorry for him so she's too lenient. But really, why should I and everyone else have to suffer because he's moronic?

And my flatmate has taken to being passive agressive. Maybe I've got PMS and I'm reading too much into things, but he's really starting to give me the shits. The other day, when I came home, he was cleaning the flat. I started making dinner and he just stood there in the kitchen looking at me. So I tried to make conversation until he suddenly asked 'Are you going to take long?'

'What?' I asked.

'I'm cleaning the flat and I've got the kitchen left to mop. And obviously I can't do it till you're finished.'

'Oh- well, maybe give me five minutes,' I said. And then he said 'No, no, I'm just being a jerk, I'm joking. Take your time.' But then, he just STOOD THERE AND WATCHED ME, SILENTLY, with his arms crossed. In front of the plate cupboard, so I had to ask him to move, and then he shifted to the front of the cutlery draw so I had to ask him to move again, and then in front of the fridge, so I had to ask him to please get his bleeding arse out of the way so I could get my tomato sauce out of the fridge.

He also asked me if he could see the soles of my slippers. So I showed him and he said 'You see all that crap stuck to the bottom of your slippers? Can you please clean it off every day so it doesn't get distributed through the flat?' I was like, MAN, do you have nothing better to do than be so anal retentive? I clean them when they get dirty. But I have to admit, if I swept and mopped the flat twice a day, I would probably get pissed off if someone came through and dirtied the gleaming floors. He's like some frustrated house frau.

And then he makes all these comments which I think are supposed to be funny but aren't. I was sketching in the living room because the light was better and he asked me 'You like drawing don't you? Pity you're not good at it.' And he always says sarcastically 'You're life is so hard isn't it? You party the weekend away and work 12 hour weeks.' This coming from the guy who doesn't work, has two hours of uni a week and has to decide which of the two hours he's going to attend because attending both is just too much hassle. And when Juan Carlos asked if we could turn on the heating because he was cold, he starting mocking him and saying 'You're just like a little kid, crying because you're cold. Whining that your feet are cold, your hands are cold. It's not even Winter yet.' I was like, that is not cool. If he's cold and needs to turn on the heating, who are you to be the heating nazi?

The other day, Alexis came over for lunch and asked him 'So how are things going generally?' and he said 'Good, good, except things with Cath are going through the arse.' I think it was meant to be a joke.

But I was like BLOODY HELL! I'm not even in the flat most of the time, I clean up after myself in the communal living areas, I barely go into the living room because he's always there watching TV and I don't watch much TV anyway, I don't take up two thirds of the fridge and cupboard space like he does, I don't walk around humming tunelessly, I don't make much noise at all.

I think he's a bit disappointed that I'm not as friendly as I could be. He and Juan Carlos usually have lunch and dinner together in front of the TV and I sometimes join them but when I come back from work, and I'm buggered, all I want to do is scoff down some food and have a nap. Or I'll come back briefly and head straight out again. He's always telling me about his flatmate from last year who became great friends with him, who invited him to his place for Christmas, who hung out with him heaps. I tried to invite him out with me and my friends a few times but he doesn't drink and he told me he doesn't like being out after 9 pm, preferring to sit at home in front of the tele. So I've given up inviting him along, but when I come home at 7 am on Sunday morning and he's already up for his morning jog, I swear he looks at me disapprovingly.

One of my friends jokingly said that he probably likes me. I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants.