Zagreb Youth Hostel- way to Hell

Last night, I stayed in a place calling itself a youth hostel but was in actual fact more like a stopover on the road to Hell. Saying the design of the place is "utilitarian" is being generous. I met an Aussie couple also going to the hostel so we made our way together, and I´m sincerely glad I found them. We got lost so I asked the only person on the street for directions, except he turned out to be dead drunk and just followed us around aimlessly. A car drove by us and the driver asked if we were headed for the hostel and when we said yes, he said he´d give us a lift. Normally I don´t get into the car with strangers but there were three of us, and his car had no boot to conceal a second person waiting to mug us. So he drove us there, telling us we had to be careful at night because after the war(s) there were heaps of crazy lunatics running around waiting to accost strangers. I wondered when he said it if he was one himself but he was greatly helpful.

At the hostel, the old man at reception just barked out "85 kroner" and "Room 105, if the door´s locked, knock on it". The layout of the place looked like a converted mental asylum and the people there didn´t seem much better. When I was eating my salad downstairs at 1 am (arrived at midnight, starving; salad is not a good option for travelling, very messy to eat on bus) some skinny guy skulked around and started talking to me, "Can´t sleep? I can´t sleep either" and lit a cigarette with shaking hands. He tried to engage me in conversation, but I swear he had a twitch in his eye or something and was making me really nervous so I gave very short answers.

My bed had a strange smell I couldn´t quite put my finger on... I later figured out what it smelt like- old urine. This morning, at around 10 am, the guy from reception came up and asked if I was staying another night. I said no, and he asked if I knew what time checkout was. I said no, the guy didn´t tell us last night and he shouted " There´s a sign that says it´s at 9. So get out of here. Hurry up!" and left. Well, if they had enough lighting in the recpetion area to read the signs, maybe I would have seen it.

The showers were rusty and clogged up and there was only one bulb because the other two had probably blown and been removed. And next to Corinne´s bed (one of the Aussies), someone had written "tourists are terrorists". My favourite was the cleaning lady though. She stood outside in the hallway with a mop and a purple smock, looking like a wizened parody of Chief in One Flew Over the Cuckoo´s Nest. The inyourpocket guide to Zagreb says of this hostel "the staff couldn´t try harder to please you."